Tell Me About Same-sex Marriage? It Scares the Hell Out of Me…

Posted: January 28, 2018 in Same Sex Marriage, Uncategorized

My partner, Dana, and myself have been in a wonderful, loving, committed relationship for coming up on eleven years now.  It’s everything we dreamed it could be…give or take a few things…but there are very few complaints from either of us.  Since 2012 though, we’ve been debating taking the plunge and actually tying the knot…getting married, if you will.

But, something is holding me back.  It’s not that I don’t love Dana enough to do this for him, but it’s the idea that taking such a step could, quite possibly, be horribly detrimental to us.  Call me paranoid, but I do NOT trust the world with the knowledge that I’m in love with another man enough to make this kind of joint commitment with him.

My view of the United States of America right now is Jaded…and yes…the capital J was intentional.  Jaded…   There’s not a single one of those sons of bitches out there running our country right now that I trust with the information that I love Dana.  We are all so thrilled with the fact that we have marriage equality right now that we are all running out to every possible outlet…justices of the peace, preachers, heck…even sea captains…just to have our names put on a piece of paper that give the official okay to love one another like normal human beings should.  But what is it that little piece of paper does?

Well, for one thing, it really makes it official.  I’m rather certain that there is an official record kept in clerks offices nationwide of all marriage ceremonies that have happened by year.  If a nefarious person were to access those records, which ARE a matter of public record, he/she could more or likely be able to create a list of ALL of the same-sex couples that married since the 2012 SCOTUS decision.  I can hear you all hollering at me already with “So what?  I’m out and proud and not ashamed of who I am…why should you be?”

Well, my answer to that is this:  Anyone with a mind to do so can create a list of at least 50% of all the gay people living in our country right now, and with that list, there is nothing positive that they can do…but with negative intent, and the help of any number of government entities or anti-semitic/anti-gay groups, we could have a real nightmare on our hands.  And it’s THIS idea that is stopping me from wanting to get married.

I don’t trust the world enough.  I don’t trust the world with my love hardly at all.  I don’t care about myself, but if something were to happen to my Dana because I couldn’t see the potential threat in our doing something so damned normal, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself.  Right now we have a wannabe dictator running our country, and an anti-gay regime in control of EVERY SINGLE BRANCH of our government.  Give me a reason…any reason…why I should trust them?

Help me here.  I want to marry my love of eleven years…but for me, the risks are just too damned high.  Please, someone tell me I’m just being too paranoid?

Thanks for your time.

Michael (Blondmyk) Hamilton

  1. Amethyst Sky says:

    Hmm. I think you’ve got to weigh up the options of a) declaring your love and making it public, against b) if anything happens to you, would Dana automatically inherit? Maybe get married overseas (a beach in the Bahamas, for instance, or the good old UK?????)? I just think that waving something like this under their noses right now is potentially asking for trouble.

    Is there any hope of this farce that is US politics coming to it’s senses?

    • blondmyk says:

      Alas, the USA coming to it’s senses prior to November 2018 isn’t very likely. And unfortunately, if we want our marriage recognized, there’s not a whole lot of sense having it done in some foreign land. In regards to the inheritance thing, I’m going to do the same thing that Alan and I did IF we don’t get married and he will inherit nearly everything. I want my son Eric to have a few things to remember me by.

  2. kimberly youngquist says:

    MY Darling .. I cam give you my off the top Answer to your Quandary, But I feel the need to ponder this very pinot question, give me a night to sleep on it so to speak…I* need to gather all my thoughts on this subject and give you my Answer

  3. Scott says:

    Your together and you love each other, that’s all that matters! I don’t trust the government as far as I can through them. Why should you?? I’m sure you and Dana have many years ahead of you and the time will present itself where you two can get married under better circumstances.

  4. philosophersocrates says:

    I won’t downplay your fears that’s for sure. But I get a sense when someone knows what their choice is. I think you’ve made this choice. All I can do is offer you my support and tell you ‘go get em’.

  5. Dina Deuidicibus says:

    I think you should do what your heart tells you, if you are not feeling 100% “right” then don’t let it tarnish what should be the happiest and best moment of your life. That being said, I have many friends who were married before and since this election and they are nothing but happy, in love and relieved to finally be recognized as “official”.

  6. Catherine L Thompson says:

    This is both wonderful and very sad. There was so much hope budding in our country that has now been crushed by nouvelle fascist storm trooper boots.

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