Further random musings from beneath the blonde…

Something has really been bothering me lately.  As most of you know, I fancy myself as some sort of SJW (“Social Justice Warrior”–for those who don’t know the acronym) on Facebook.  I tend to go out of my way to share and find posts that show some sort of injustice and try to bring enough attention to it that hopefully someone will read it somewhere and bring in a more active element than I can provide from my tiny soapbox.  I make no bones about the fact that I’m a bleeding heart liberal either, at least not in most instances.

I despise our current president.  I unceasingly criticize the insane decisions that he makes regarding pretty much everything, from cabinet member choices, to nominations for the judiciary, to his “mines bigger than yours” banter with a certain Korean Dictator.  I’ve also made decisions to remove “friends” who have enraged me with views different from my own from my social media pages.  And that, right there, is the root of my subject today.

No matter how much I bitch and complain about these things that I see or find online, not a single one of my friends online has any real thing to say to disagree or argue with me about.  They all share my exact same views on virtually every subject.  So, “What is the Point?” is the question that I have to ask?  If I were a preacher, I find I’ve put myself in the position to be “preaching to the choir”, so to speak.  In other words, I’m not reaching the audience that I want to reach.  I’m not changing anyone’s mind with anything I post.  I’m not doing anything more than affirming what my friends already feel.  I’m wasting my time.  I’ve created a liberal-minded, social-media, bubble.

A quick review as to how we got into this position in the first place:  During the campaign of the 2016 election, we found that one or the other of the candidates was literally repulsive to us.  Some of us chose one of those flawed candidates while others chose the other.   One of the flawed candidates happened to be a sexist, egotistical, lying, hypocritical, xenophobic, bigot, and the other being the most investigated and maligned woman on the planet, whom large numbers of people believed had blood on her hands (from her previous job) and was filling her personal coffers with money intended for special interests (like Haiti).  There were too many rumours that she was involved in murder to cover up her tracks to be believable.   In every sense of the word, it truly was one of those “choose the lesser of the two evils” kind of elections…but the evils were so great that it literally split the country into two factions:  White Nationalists and hardcore progressives.  Truly hardcore progressives have NO (and I really MEAN zero) tolerance for the prejudices of the white nationalists.  The fight became bitter and hate-filled as the battle lines were drawn.  By the time of the election, pretty much everyone I know had removed dozens of friends from the opposing side from their lists of friends, all across the internet…and the social media bubbles were born.

All this “bubble” talk would be fine and good, except that it hasn’t been limited to social media.  It seems to have grown into the real world, where people simply “tolerate” situations where they have to be around each other instead of finding ways to communicate.   In many cases, they just simply don’t want to be around people that they consider “vile or repulsive”.  I can’t say as I blame them, as I don’t want people like that in my life either.  So where does that leave us?

Well, as far as I can tell, it pretty much leaves us up Schitz Creek, without a paddle.  We either have to find a way to let go of this kind of stuff and start working together again, or we’re headed for a new Civil War.  This one will potentially be worse than the last one as battle lines will be harder to define and weaponry is INFINITELY more destructive than during the last one.  And let’s keep in mind that the war at home will likely be a sideline to the ones that are continuing overseas…Afghanistan, Syria, Iraq, and any of the seeming dozens of missions we have operating in African nations that we don’t technically know squat about.

So….what are we going to do?  It’s on each of us to make some kind of decision.  Do we talk, or do we fight?  Me, personally, I think I’d rather talk.  We cannot afford a Civil War any more than we can afford the ones we currently have overseas right now.  Add to that how much I want our Republic to continue, and I have my personal answer.  But what will you do?



My partner, Dana, and myself have been in a wonderful, loving, committed relationship for coming up on eleven years now.  It’s everything we dreamed it could be…give or take a few things…but there are very few complaints from either of us.  Since 2012 though, we’ve been debating taking the plunge and actually tying the knot…getting married, if you will.

But, something is holding me back.  It’s not that I don’t love Dana enough to do this for him, but it’s the idea that taking such a step could, quite possibly, be horribly detrimental to us.  Call me paranoid, but I do NOT trust the world with the knowledge that I’m in love with another man enough to make this kind of joint commitment with him.

My view of the United States of America right now is Jaded…and yes…the capital J was intentional.  Jaded…   There’s not a single one of those sons of bitches out there running our country right now that I trust with the information that I love Dana.  We are all so thrilled with the fact that we have marriage equality right now that we are all running out to every possible outlet…justices of the peace, preachers, heck…even sea captains…just to have our names put on a piece of paper that give the official okay to love one another like normal human beings should.  But what is it that little piece of paper does?

Well, for one thing, it really makes it official.  I’m rather certain that there is an official record kept in clerks offices nationwide of all marriage ceremonies that have happened by year.  If a nefarious person were to access those records, which ARE a matter of public record, he/she could more or likely be able to create a list of ALL of the same-sex couples that married since the 2012 SCOTUS decision.  I can hear you all hollering at me already with “So what?  I’m out and proud and not ashamed of who I am…why should you be?”

Well, my answer to that is this:  Anyone with a mind to do so can create a list of at least 50% of all the gay people living in our country right now, and with that list, there is nothing positive that they can do…but with negative intent, and the help of any number of government entities or anti-semitic/anti-gay groups, we could have a real nightmare on our hands.  And it’s THIS idea that is stopping me from wanting to get married.

I don’t trust the world enough.  I don’t trust the world with my love hardly at all.  I don’t care about myself, but if something were to happen to my Dana because I couldn’t see the potential threat in our doing something so damned normal, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself.  Right now we have a wannabe dictator running our country, and an anti-gay regime in control of EVERY SINGLE BRANCH of our government.  Give me a reason…any reason…why I should trust them?

Help me here.  I want to marry my love of eleven years…but for me, the risks are just too damned high.  Please, someone tell me I’m just being too paranoid?

Thanks for your time.

Michael (Blondmyk) Hamilton

It’s been a few years since I’ve posted on here, but I’ve finally hit a subject that has me SO frustrated that I must speak out.  The subject is “Opioid Addiction” and my reaction is to be absolutely livid about the reaction from the general public about the topic.

First of all, some background is required before I continue.  In November of 2000, I injured my back in a lifting accident.  Yes…I lifted something incorrectly and herniated my L5-S1 disc, which is the big one at the base of your back that connects to your tailbone right above your buttocks.  At the time, they prescribed pain medications to me that made the pain bearable and there were no problems with addiction or even dependence at that time because I took the pills as prescribed and the surgery, a lumbar laminectomy, took care of the pain.  I was a happy, drug free boy for the next five years.

In 2006, I did it again lifting a Television set at work.  Again it was at the L5-S1 level and the pain was excruciating.  While this time I had lifted the item correctly, it seems that there was some disc desiccation which naturally had made it weaker than it should have been.  This time it took FOUR months for me to have the necessary surgery.  Again I found myself on pain medications and took them as prescribed.  This time, however, the back surgery didn’t have the same effect.  After my healing period, I was in worse pain that ever before.  Come to find out that there was a buildup of scar tissue that the doctor had to work very hard to release the nerve from and that resulted in some nerve damage.  Unfortunately for me, it was a long term nerve damage.  I had physical therapy after the surgery, which helped with mobility, but not with the ongoing pain, which gradually became worse and worse.  No doctor would prescribe pain medications for me, and I slipped into a rather deep depression brought on by the pain where all I could do was sit in a chair and rock back and forth, praying for either death or relief, whichever should happen to arrive first.

My good friend Teresa referred me to a pain specialist at a local hospital.  The Doctor, Daniel Baldi, was the first person to even consider that I might be actually experiencing real pain and was the first to help me on my road to a full recovery.  The man listened to every single word I said.  If a pain medication didn’t work, he was always ready to try something different.  He eventually found a series of medications that made me darned near pain free and I was able to live life again.  I credit this man with saving my life.  Since that time he has been maligned, sued, charged with ten counts of manslaughter. and fought AND WON a very mean set of criminal charges.  I admire him for his tenacity, but regret to inform folks that he gave up on practicing pain medicine because of the horrible risks involved.  It is a terrible blow to those of us who consider him a major hero to the cause.

My point to that last paragraph there is that this man should never have been charged in the first place.  His job was to try to offer relief to people suffering from pain, which he did.  He cannot monitor people who decide they are going to take a couple of pills and then have a cocktail or two to “spice it up a bit”.  Pharmacies are supposed to be tracking where pain drugs are being issued by multiple doctors to the same patient, so I have no idea what happened there, but one should NOT blame a prescribing physician if a patient is out there “doctor shopping” in order to supply a growing addiction.  My point here is this:  Take your medications as prescribed by your doctor.  Do not take that extra pill if you think you need it, but wait until it’s safe to do so based on how the medication is prescribed.  Finally, when a pain medication tells you that it’s extended release and drinking alcohol could potentially unleash a fatal dose of narcotic into your bloodstream and kill you, you might want to take that information under advisement and NOT drink alcohol while you are on that medication.  If you don’t follow these simple rules and wind up dead as a result, it is NOT the prescribing physicians fault when you don’t wake up on the morning after.

And NOW we find ourselves in the midst of a nationwide opioid epidemic.  Pain Doctors and Clinics are under unbearable scrutiny right now.  People like myself, who have a decade of history using pain medications and opioids are having a TERRIBLE time finding doctors to continue with our medication management because, well…basically, the thicker your file is, the higher your risk for death is.  If you have a monster file then you MUST be an addict!  That’s not the case.  There is a huge difference between being an addict and being dependent on pain medications.  An addict wants more and will go to any length to get more to keep the high going.  In other words, if you are taking Hydrocodone and taking more than the prescribed dosage daily and wind up having to call for refills much earlier than you should have to, you are likely an addict and not just dependent.  One who is dependent doesn’t do that, but rather takes his/her medication as prescribed but whose body has become accustomed to the drug in their system and very well might have withdrawal if the drug is abruptly removed.  I have experienced this withdrawal with Oxycontin, Dilaudid, and Fentanyl myself.  It’s rough, oh yes, but it can be done with willpower and without a need to go hunting for the drug on the streets in order to curb the cravings.  Someone who is dependent will make their medication last the length prescribed and will NOT go above the prescribed dosage without first contacting their pain doctor in advance.

I don’t have all the answers to the epidemic situation that our country currently finds itself in, but I can tell you that denying patient’s access to drugs that will help manage their pain is NOT the way to go about dealing with this epidemic.  Pain is real.  Pain is a medical condition and it deserves to be treated.  The hunting down and blaming of real doctors whose only goal is to help people deal with their pain problems is NOT the solution.  Making regular doctors fear giving out 12-15 pills in an Emergency Room situation due to fear of potential addiction is not the answer either.  We just need to stop it with this witch hunt.  Yes, I’m sorry for those who have lost their lives to THEIR addiction, but for the love of GOD, stop trying to prevent me from getting the help that I desperately need to function as a human being in the process.

2013 Nanowrimo is underway!

Posted: November 9, 2013 in Uncategorized

Aargh!  I’m already beyond frustrated with Nanowrimo this year.  I spent the entire month of October outlining a new story and creating character bios and locations, and now I can’t seem to get the darned story to paper!  LOL!

This is a repeat story for my history with Nanowrimo.  I usually finish the deadline, but I’m never happy with the outcome because I’ve gone full bore with the story’s rough draft.  It turns out so bad that what I have when I finish is downright intimidating when December comes and it’s time to finish the story and edit.  I take the time to read what I’ve written and realize that it’s all drek…  I just can’t bring myself to continue afterwards.

This year I decided to do Nanowrimo a little differently by doing these bios and location histories.  I wanted to have an opportunity to create GOOD writing rather than drek, like usual.  So, why is the story not coming?  Am I just doomed to rushing through the 50k words and hate the story when I near the end?  What’s the secret, because it’s no longer satisfying to just meet the deadline anymore?  

I’m not blocked, just frustrated with my pace.  Dammit, this time I’m going to get the novel out of it, even if I don’t win Nano this year.

My Liberal Identity You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-centric thought reign supreme. Take the quiz at About.com Political Humor

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Quiz: What Kind of Liberal Are You?

My Liberal Identity

You are a Reality-Based Intellectualist, also known as the liberal elite. You are a proud member of what’s known as the reality-based community, where science, reason, and non-Jesus-centric thought reign supreme.

Take the quiz at
About.com Political Humor



Guess I really am a liberal.  I always considered myself a moderate!

Link  —  Posted: October 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

Due to the upcoming Nanowrimo, I’ve begun working on my writing again.  To be honest, I’d almost given up on my muse, who hasn’t inspired me to write a letter since before the death of my Mother in May.  Heck, It’s probably been more than a year since I’ve written anything in actuality.  I might even go so far as to say that I’ve been clinically depressed!

For some reason though, this new year of Nanowrimo has brought out some real enthusiasm with this new story that I’ve decided to write.  I’ve decided on a working title:  “Hunter:  Witch Hunter” and eventually I plan to take this new work and merge it with my old “Demon Hunter Diaries” to create one single complete work.  It will be my first finished work if it all pulls together as planned.

“Hunter:  Witch Hunter” will be a paranormal detective mystery set in Las Vegas, NV.  It focuses on the Protagonist Jett Hunter, a 30 something police detective who stumbles upon a coven of very ancient and very established witches living and killing in Las Vegas.  Having trained at the Chicago Police Academy, and being a homicide detective with a very logical mind, Jett must overcome the limitations of his mind and accept the fact that the supernatural truly does exist.  If he is to be successful in solving the series of crimes that he’s stumbled on to, he is going to have to learn a thing or two about Magic.  This, of course, is in direct opposition to how he is supposed to be thinking and creates a great deal of tension in his Las Vegas precinct house.

Over the next month I will be exploring the world of Jett Hunter through a series of short stories.  I will write a new short story for each character, and attempt to build a world based upon these characters.  I WILL be posting these short stories here on “Dark Mind.”  I would encourage any readers of this work to critique or offer up ideas that might make the stories more interesting, exciting, or by providing any information regarding the magical aspects that might make the situations presented seem more accurate or real.  Additionally, if you or someone that you know has any experience working with the police or has any experience in police policy or procedure can contribute time for an interview, I’d be greatly appreciative!

I thank you all in advance, and look forward to hearing from any of my readers!

Every year, the month of November brings us Nanowrimo.  Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month–www.nanowrimo.org) Is a sort of contest which inspire writers to sit down and get a good start on a Novel by writing 50,000 words on one singular project within 30 days.  I have been a member of the website for seven years now, and have actively taken the challenge 5 times that I can remember.  I’ve only been successful in completing the challenge twice.

As much as I love this time of year, with all the creativity flowing and the creation of new and exciting worlds, I have come to the realization that Nanowrimo puts a serious fly into the ointment of my writing:  It permits me, the writer, to be more sloppy than I ever should be.  With it’s incessant demand for “word count”…”Word Count!” it forces me to use adverbs, adjectives and cliche with wreckless abandon in order to stretch my count to the highest that it can be.   Then, after I finish for the month and go back to reread my work, I’m disgusted.  I hate reading the wordy dreck that I’ve put on paper, and I find no affection for it.  The happy feeling I had when writing my story disappears and I find loathing and dread when looking at the piece I have to edit, knowing that I might as well just start over.

I’ve decided to do this exercise one more time however, even though I find myself hating it every time I do it.  This year, I’ve decided to go in with a game plan; and actual plot outline.  I’m also not going to allow myself to be pushed to write dreck.  I will no use crazy adjectives, adverbs, or other forms of literary garbage in order to pad the piece and make the wordcount.  I will write the piece using short concise sentences when possible and try to use skill to make it likable so that when I return for editing it won’t be such a daunting task.

I encourage everyone to try Nanowrimo at least once in their lives.  You don’t (and probably shouldn’t) have to take it as seriously as I do, but everyone should take the month during their lifetime and let a story from within them find life in the outside world.  It really is great fun, and you meet some amazing, creative people on the journey toward the finish of your novel.  Come on…give it a go!

Follow your Muse!

Posted: April 5, 2013 in Uncategorized

I had the most unusual thing happen to me this week.

As many of you know, Camp Nanowrimo has begun.  I signed up to do 50k words with a plan to restart a novel that I began in 2005 that has a working title of “The Demon Hunter Diaries.”

At first I had a helluva time restarting it.  It’s one thing to edit, and quite another to completely change and rewrite a story.  I sat down and reread all the work that I had put in to it, and of course I hated the whole thing.  I wondered why I had decided to do somthing like this…to retackle something so old and dead to me.  Then I sat down and started to write the things just sitting at the tip of my brain and what started to come out of me seemed to have nothing to do with the original concept of this story.  I was writing something about nursing homes for crying out loud!  It had nothing to do with anything at all and I was pretty angry at myself for just following my muse.  But then it hit me.

Everything that I had been writing the past day could be worked in to the original story and add extra depth to my antagonist/villian.  I was writing the subplot for my antagonist…something I had totally neglected in my original penning of the story!  How could I have completely forgotten about adding in HIS goals…and the ways that he had planned to accomplish them?  This was what the problem had been with the whole story from the git-go!

So, as you see, sometimes your brain (or muse if you will) knows what it’s supposed to do, even when your conciousness isn’t cooperating with it.  What an amazing tool it is!  I am once again excited about a story that has been frustrating me for nearly 7 years!

Over the past week I’ve been working on a short story with a writing friend of mine that we’ll call “Philosopher” because I don’t know if she wants me using her name or not.  The story is called “Things That Go Bump in the Night.”  This is a short fiction account based on a true story of paranormal eventa that happened to me in St Jean, Switzerland back in the winter of 1974.  I was around 9 or 10 years old at the time, so it had a pretty serious impact on me.  This single event is probably the reason that I began working as a paranormal investigator later in my life.

Eventually, this story will lead to a second short fiction story called “Memorial Day.”  This one is another true ghost story based on accounts that happened to me in Las Vegas, NV during my late teens.  This story is actually more intense and had an even more serious impact on my life than the first one.  In fact, it had serious impact on the lives of several people, including a couple that actually broke up briefly due to the account after a bout of domestic violence which was a replay of events that had occurred almost 50 years prior.

Not sure where all of this is leading.  Perhaps it’s leading me to a collection of short fiction based on all of my paranormal experiences during this lifetime.  I don’t know if a book like that would avoid gathering any moss, but it might be worth a shot.  It would definitely be fun to write.  If nothing else it would get all this back stuff out of the way so that I can concentrate on the new stuff that’s coming into my brain now.

I have tons of great new ideas.  I just need to find a way to get moving on them.


That’s all for now!

A year ago this month I moved into this two bedroom apartment from a one bedroom hovel across the complex from here.  Even though it still reeked of animals and excessive insect droppings, I was thrilled to be here and have the extra room.  I figured that some day, I’d use that room to create an office; a writing cave, if you will.

A year later the room still sits there.  Instead of a writing cave, it serves me as a catch all room.  I tried to make it into something special when I first moved here, but time and life have gotten in the way.  I couldn’t afford my storage unit anymore, so everything that was in there is now making home in my writing cave.  Alas!

Today I’ve been exploring the idea of getting to work on it again.  There are boxes everywhere though, and it’s really difficult to even look into the room without being discouraged.  Obviously the first step in doing this is clearing out the empty boxes, unloading the full ones, and trying to find a place for everything in a house that is so small that I needed a storage unit in the first place!  Once all of that is done though, I have to decide what I want to do.  What it is, exactly, that makes a home office into a “writing cave?”

I like to be surrounded by my favorite things when I write.  I draw inspiration from them.  For example, I  have an Egyptian Ushabti from a 23rd dynasty tomb that I like to look out and draw ideas from.  With it’s Cobra and bird engravings, it has a way of moving my mind back into antiquity…helping me to visualize ancient Egyptian culture.  Also I will need plants, lots and lots of plants in my writing cave.  Plants help me to visualize jungles and flowers.  I also love the feeling of life that they add to a room.  If one is going to have plants, then he’s going to need a well lit room too, so dark curtains are out of the picture entirely.

Lighting is important for me to be able to write effectively.  I find my best work is done in intense, scrutinizing light.  A good moveable lamp that will allow me to shine a light directly on to whatever I am working on willl work perfectly fine.   The contrasting light issues are going to be a problem when the time comes to start writing in there.  There must be some sort of way to get both types of light?

I’m curous about other writers.  Where do you folks undertake your writing projects?  Do you have a room–or office–just for writing novels or articles?  What sorts of things do you use to decorate your personal writing space?  Do you think that these things help?  Please, drop me a line and let me know!